UNTITLED MindState - Rejjia Camphor

2/12/2016

Untitled Midstate

Tupac once said that there’s a difference between “a bitch and a woman”.

A bitch will allow herself to be disrespected and dominated over. She will tell lies and gossip to other girls, and not care what contributions she makes in this society. She will also use her knowledge for unnecessary purposes and allow it to be wasted by the slang and terminology of rap music used against her. A bitch will be uncleansed and unorganized. A bitch can have no sense of pride or self-respect in herself and and or features/characteristics. And lastly a bitch will be controlled by the social environment in which she surrounds herself, thus becoming a loud barking female in which the word “bitch” is defined.

But a woman, a woman is much different. A woman takes pride in her appearance. She wants to be noticed and seen as an intellect by her environment. A woman will take responsibility in herself and the way she lives her lifestyle. She will make sure she provokes the impact she makes in this world. A woman will gladly set a man his pace, showing superiority to oneself on a professional level only. A woman will demand power, respect and equality. Lastly, a woman will be confided with the responsibility of representing what a strong intellectual female should be.

As Tupac once said that “there is a difference between a bitch and a women. I love women, but I hate bitches.”

I hope you know and see it also.

5 Comments

Kennedy McDaniel

2/15/2016 06:08:24 pm

Reading how you characterized a bitch versus a woman made me think that a bitch is just a woman who is in desperate need of guidance and growth. Women who allow themselves to be disrespected, aren't confident in their looks or appearance, and/or who gossip about other women aren't bitches, they just don't understand what self love or self appreciation is. However, I don't think that this behavior is through any fault of their own. Women are constantly taught to be in competition with other women, which causes pettiness and gossip to occur. Women are taught to conform to European beauty standards that are rooted in white supremacy, so that any physical feature that falls outside of whiteness is seen as ugly. Women are silenced all of their lives in order for men to speak, which causes low confidence and allows for them to be disrespected. These judgements that are cast on women deemed as 'bitches' speak more to the environment in which women are forced to grow, instead of the women themselves. Being a woman requires constantly evolving and maturing and bettering oneself, and this cannot be done alone. In order for womanism to be successful and for true solidarity to come to fruition, we cannot afford to call women who are struggling with their identities/self-acceptance 'bitches' and move on. We have to act as examples for other women, and we have to help other women. I know this sounds really campy and kumbaya 'esque,' but women have to look out for other women.

Isabella Bowker

2/15/2016 08:09:53 pm

I remember very vividly the first time a man called me a bitch.

I was a junior in high school. It was the day of our winter concert, and I was going to be performing, and I thought I looked hot as hell. Although it was mid-December, my legs were bare, and I was in heels, and as I got out of my mom’s car a good two blocks away from the school’s entrance, I was also aware that while I might look great, I also looked distinctly out of place on the deserted city street, with the hem of my dress just barely peeking out from under my coat and my viola case firmly in hand.

My mother had just pulled away when I noticed a man—disheveled, scrawny, alone with a brown-bagged bottle in hand—leaning against a telephone pole. He saw me see him, and stood up as I walked by, even as I quickened my pace in my too-high heels. I knew he was following me.

And I was right. From behind me, I heard him yell, “Damn, bitch, you’re beautiful.”

I did not respond. I did not turn around. I thought about how cold my bare feet would be if I had to take off my heels and run. He continued, “But you’re a stuck-up bitch, so fuck you!”

I walked faster, hoped I wouldn’t break an ankle, he repeated himself, asked if I had a boyfriend, told me this imaginary boy was lucky because he got to be with someone so beautiful, then changed his mind, decided this guy wasn’t lucky because he had to deal with a stuck-up bitch like me. Every sentence, every epithet was concluded with a resounding “Fuck you!” Then I got to school and, in my beautiful dress and high heels, sat on the toilet and cried.

This was not the last time I was called a bitch, obviously. I am a woman living in the United States, and while I would argue that it is better to be a woman here than in many other parts of the world, and that as a straight white woman I have it much easier than many women of color and LGBTQ+ women, I still do not walk down the street alone without an exact plan for what to do in any number of possible scenarios, from mugging to kidnapping to rape and any of the horrific possibilities in between. Where I lose out, by having to constantly view the world through a lens of how and through whom it might threaten me, is the joy of spontaneity that comes from taking in one’s surroundings for its beauty instead of its hidden dangers. The freedom with which men feel that they can throw around the word “bitch” is simply one of perhaps an infinite number of iterations of this peril to our ability to move around the world on our terms. I am a woman, but I’m also a bitch, and I will be even if we elect a female president, even if we only ever elect female presidents for the rest of my life. I love Tupac most of the time, but when he says he hates bitches, what he’s saying is that he hates women who do not fit his idea of what a woman should be. I wonder what Tupac would think of me.

Dora

2/16/2016 04:47:14 pm

Kennedy and Isabella, thank you both for engaging and providing political and personal perspective here. While I don't see all of the following as "credible" academic sources, I think it's interesting that there are so many think pieces on the use of the word "bitch" throughout history and in contemporary contexts. Just a few:
"The Evolution of the Bitch" http://www.vice.com/read/the-evolution-of-the-bitch-905
"You Say 'Bitch' Like It's A Bad Thing: Examining the Implications of the Notorious Word" http://www.huffingtonpost.com/zoe-triska/post_4332_b_2526243.html
"What You’re Really Saying When You Call Me A Bitch" http://www.rolereboot.org/culture-and-politics/details/2013-07-what-youre-really-saying-when-you-call-me-a-bitch
"Meet the New Bitch" http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2015/04/meet-the-new-bitch/386246/

Activist Jo (Joreen) Freeman's 1968 "BITCH Manifesto" is an influential piece that attempts to "take ownership" of the derogatory term while also critiquing traditional gender roles: http://www.jofreeman.com/joreen/bitch.htm

Kennedy, I'm glad that you brought up Womanism in this context (I know that the BreakBeat Poets brought up the term during their visit, and it's really relevant here). Rejjia (or anyone reading!), if you're interested in learning more about womanism (social theory that considers the intersectionality of gender and race in the oppression of black women), I'd be happy to work on a reading list! Alice Walker first used the term, and Clenora Hudson-Weems's book Africana Womanism: Reclaiming Ourselves is a good place to start. I ALWAYS turn to the writings of Audre Lorde and bell hooks when thinking about these issues.

Thanks, all, for engaging in questions of language and power that can be very difficult!

Rejjia Camphor link

2/16/2016 05:07:08 pm

I really appreciate all of your comments and I will take into the point of view of each of you. Writing this piece was very hard because not only because I knew it would receive a lot of criticism or feedback but because people view the term "bitch" differently than I do. And while I've struggled to understand the embrace of the term, I just feel for lack of a better term that it was used as a term of degradation. That was just my perspective from the way I grew up and how it was used in the context when referred to women. I've always strayed away from using the word because of the fact it should have never been used as a connotation for women when in fact it is suppose to describe a female animal. But I do understand your arguments and I'm sorry if my piece may have sounded degrading or non-supportive of women. It wasn't suppose to take that route. I'm all for supporting those who have low esteem or issues with self identity. I just don't like like the word bitch and what it refers to when it comes to women.

Maysa Elsheikh

2/19/2016 09:38:58 am

There are so many thoughts I have on this topic. Thank you Reggia for starting this conversation and I don't think you should need to be apologetic of your viewpoint. I really appreciate the point Kennedy made about how the women Tupac considers b*****es because of their lack of self respect are girls/women who need more guidance than criticism. Recently I've been thinking a lot about how harmful it is to doom someone as criminal, evil, or in this case a woman without self-respect as unchangeable or worthy of condemnation instead of worthy of love and respect all the same simply because they're human. My personal take on the b-word is that I think it is disrespectful and insulting and I would be hurt if someone used it towards me. While I understand this word has been used in so many different contexts now and some women even own it, I don't like it for myself and would not use the word to talk about anyone else. I think Zoe Triska, who wrote the article "You Say 'B****' Like It's a Bad Thing" succinctly summarizes the root of using this word to me: "this word is never okay to say when used negatively."

This also made me think about how the other day someone told me I was a "bad b****" (as a compliment, I guess) but it clearly didn't sit well with me. It bothers me that many young women especially, think/speak of empowered, assertive, or bold women as someone who doesn't care what anyone else thinks (or at least those who don't agree with her) and it shows in her character and attitude. I prefer to hold myself to a standard of being empowered and empowering, assertive and bold but just as caring and respectful of people, rather than being of "B****es (who) refuse to serve, honor or obey anyone" as described in the "B**** Manifesto" Dora also shared. While it seems to me that owning the b-word is a power move, I'd rather go without it and it's historical baggage. Interestingly enough, I don't feel the same way about the n-word though.

UNTITLED MindState - Rejjia Camphor

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